Posted by: daveed | July 23, 2008

I can’t stand zombies

It’s time they take responsibility for their condition and hold themselves accountable for their destructive behavior. It’s disgusting how they constantly expect us, the living majority in this country, to bow to their every undead need. Hey, it wasn’t me who turned them into zombies.

Just the other day I got accosted by a bunch IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. So said “Why don’t you get off your undead duffs and work for a living!” That set them off because they tried to suck out my brains. Now, I couldn’t fend them off with a fire brand since it was daylight and I’m pretty sure you need a permit to carry a torch in public anyway. Luckily they move slowly, especially in daylight.

Friday nights are the worst. That’s when teenagers go screwing around the local cemetery, and nothing gets zombies more riled up than adolescent graveyard mischief. Next thing you know the streets are filled with hordes of undead, blocking traffic, creating mayhem. Then the National Guard has to intervene and blow up my neighborhood to hell. Ruins the whole weekend.


  1. Why don’t you lay off the zombies, buddy.

    You have issues.

  2. I find your attitude towards Undead-Americans to be very narrowminded and intolerant.Undead-Americans
    are people.or at least pieces of people, too.

  3. […] was created Ever wanted to play a zombie sim? How about one that let’s you unleash brain-eating hordes of undead on Washington DC? (Insert zombie-and-politician joke here.) Then this website is for […]

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